What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
