Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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