i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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