wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
