This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
