Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
zippers are such a cool invention
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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