Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
