physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
