Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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