You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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