youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
