were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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