I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
