well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
