I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm too high and old for this...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
