I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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