I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
