Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
