A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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