my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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