i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize