Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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