Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
