we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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