umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
