if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
