He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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