ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
