3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
