2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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