my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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