I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
