where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
