Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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