hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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