He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
