After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
