You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
