Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
