You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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