Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
