I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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