Sponge bath it is.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Randomize
