suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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