cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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