He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
