Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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