I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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