Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
