hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
