Im at strip club and am horny
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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