Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
