Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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