I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
