So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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