sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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