I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
