Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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