Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
