I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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