at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
