I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize