tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
