do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
