If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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