i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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